Friday, January 27, 2017

please, make a fuss.

In the wake of the election, inauguration and all that has happened since I find myself seeing more and more friends/family/acquaintances getting involved and expressing their discontent and anger at what is going on in our country. 

But I have also started to notice an increase in people posting things like "here's a distraction from all the fuss in your newsfeed" or even passively plucked out Bible verses about how the lord will provide and save us all. 
... 
NO. 
God did not give you a brain, two hands, and two feet to just sit around and watch things fall to pieces. 
God did not give you ears, eyes, and a mouth for you to quietly stand by as people are oppressed, starved, or killed. 
And that IS what is happening and what WILL happen. 
The destruction may not appear obvious or apparent in your view but I guarantee that it is happening.
One of your child's friends at school is on free or reduced lunch and is now going to lose their healthcare. 
I guarantee that someone in your office has severe asthma and will severely affected by the lack of government regulation on our air quality. 
I guarantee that the woman you stand behind in line at Target has had a health scare or pregnancy scare and needed the assistance of a federally funded Planned Parenthood. 
I guarantee that one of your cubical mates at work is a first generation American who's family is now at risk. 

Let's look at what the Bible tells us. Starting with the strong female leads. 

Esther. Yes, Esther prayed and prayed and listened to God. But is that all she did? No, she prayed, listened and TOOK ACTION. She didn't just ask God to free his people. She went into King Xerxes chamber and handled it, freeing her people despite the fact that her husband could kill her for doing so, legally. 

Rahab. Rahab's story is one of my favorites. Rahab lived in ancient Jericho and was not your stereotypical law-abiding woman. She was the owner of a tavern and most likely, a prostitute. But when the time came, she TOOK ACTION. Rahab hid two Israelite spies who had been sent into the city of Jericho prior to Isreal's attack on that city. When these two soldiers knocked on her door, Rahab didn't turn them away or ask God to protect them for her. She acted. And saved her family from being killed in the attack on Jericho in the process. She is also one of four women listed in the Bible as ancestors of Jesus. 

Next up, Jesus. There are so many stories of Jesus caring for the poor, outcast, and sick people throughout the New Testament. But one of the most resonant is the cleansing of the temple in Jerusalem. It is so resonant that it is in all four gospels. Jesus and his disciples travel to Jerusalem for Passover. But the temple in Jerusalem had become overrun with greedy merchants and money changers. Jesus was angry. Seriously, he was furious. Did he turn around and go home muttering about 'all the fuss?' No. He literally turned over the merchants' tables and yelled at them to leave his Father's house. He put an embargo on people carrying merchandise through the temple. He made fuss. He protested. He created the change that was NEEDED. 

Yes. There are many stories and characters in the Bible who are examples of trust in God and faithfulness. But there are also countless examples of that faithfulness taking place in the form of action, empathy and love. Do not use your Christianity or your faith as a reason for silence or as an excuse for inaction. Your silence normalizes what is happening. When you write off the (physical, verbal, visual, social media...) protests of your peers as 'nonsense' or 'fuss' you are giving the current political landscape your stamp of approval. 

If the last week has shown us anything, it is that things are only going to get worse before they get better. Passivity, inaction, and 'not wanting to talk about politics' are what got us here. Speak up, donate, call your representatives, tweet, march, work for a non-profit, raise your children to see their privilege and care for all others--all of these things will make a difference, but do not sit idly by and watch this happen. 

Friday, January 20, 2017

One day at a time

Hey Y'all.

I have to tell you that current events have me struggling.
I find myself here again because I am not sure where else to go. Everyday life continues and it must.
But I find myself avoiding the news, podcasts, papers, magzines--things I used to love.
Why?
Because our current politcal climate makes me furious and heartbroken and I just cannot make it through each day hearing about the legislation proposed, cuts being made, nominees being confirmed, groups of people being threatened and harassed... as if it is all normal, as if it is all okay.
This, all of this is not ok.
And I am FURIOUS.
And I am heartbroken.
But I can't lead everyday furious and heartbroken. Perhaps some of you can. Perhaps some of you can turn that fury and heartbreak into motivation and productive action. But I just can't.
I need to be whole and and complete each day, for my family, and honestly for myself. My mental health cannot handle a constant stream of fury and heartbreak.

And what hurts me even more now is that I love my daughter so much, so completely. And now, not only do I have to teach her to be strong and courageous and loving, but I must find a way to show her how to love others in a country that tells her to only look out for herself.
How do we teach our children to love others, to do unto others, to treat everyone with respect, when our leaders are openly biogted, and clearly care nothing for anyone other than themselves?

How can I teach grace and courage and hope when they are so hard to find in public life?

I am at a loss, and taking things one day at a time.

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Ivanka Trump- and a portrait of American 'Greatness'



Last week, in the heat of the Republican National Convention, I read an op-ed in the NY Times entitled "Why Men Want to Marry Melanias and Raise Ivankas"--this op-ed really got my brain spinning and I just had to get my thoughts sorted out on paper.

Now, I have been fascinated by the Trump campaign's strategic use of Ivanka Trump on the campaign trail from early on--some went as far as to refer to Ivanka as Trump's "Campaign Wife" with her standing at her father's side and introducing him at many many campaign events. Now that we have reached the GOP Convention and the Trump children and family have been highlighted each night of the convention, I find myself even more intrigued.The role of family at the convention is to reinforce the choice of the presumptive nominee, serving as lifelong character witnesses for the nominee. As I listened to my daily NPR Morning Edition, I heard news of previously Trump-reluctant lifelong Republicans stating how the success and poise of the Trump children have lead them to feel less concerned about Trump and his candidacy despite any of his volatile rhetoric and policy. NY Times Op-Ed contributor Vanessa Friedman says it well when she states the following of the Trump children: "Their father says he is going to make American great again, there there they are, unapologetically modeling the moment he is talking about." Here is where we get an initial clue to the crafted and created character of Donald Trump as well as the entire Trump family and how that image is reinforcing Donald's greatest campaign promise--American Greatness. 


Let's start with Melania--the super model turned third wife of Donald Trump. Her appearances on the campaign trail have been sparse, especially for someone who made a living off of being in the spotlight. The Trump campaign has highlighted Melania as a sort of new American Dream--she was discovered in her former Soviet homeland, traveled around Europe working for high fashion houses, then she came to America to model further, met Donald Trump, married him and became a citizen. Melania and Donald have a 10 year old son together, who they named Barron...
Melania has been interviewed a few times since the start of the campaign, one such time was this interview and photo shoot for Harper's Bazaar, entitled "Melania Trump's American Dream" In it she is photographed fashionably and artfully in the gilded and glamorous penthouse apartment she shares with her husband and son. She speaks of where she came from and her life today--a marriage in which each person knows their role and is content--she states that while she does not always agree with Donald, she accepts him and "is not a nagging wife." While there could be elements of this to be respected, it is also framing their relationship--the relationship of a business mogul  and his third wife--in a manner that undoubtedly resonates with the values of the right wing evangelical voting base--where Melania and Donald know their [traditional, stereotypical] roles in their marriage and have no desire to change them. Melania has arguably one of the strongest 'rags to riches' stories available to the Trump campaign, but it is glossed over, or strategically presented because with that stories are themes that do not sit well with the Republican voter base--immigration, sexuality/modeling, divorce/third wife, extreme wealth disparity (just LOOK at the pictures of their apartment)--there seems to be a fear that someone might point out that Melania did not rightfully earn her wealth or status, she didn't work hard, she just married into it (even though she was indeed a successful model who worked for high fashion houses and immigrated to the U.S. on her own).

image via.

Then we have Ivanka. Ivanka Trump who is a successful business woman, a wife, and a mother. In her speech at the Republican National Convention last week Ivanka spouted lines about her father's dedication to equal pay for women in the workplace, affordable childcare, and working hard for the good of your community as well as yourself. Many would categorize these lines as more typically Democrat tropes and policies, but Ivanka used herself, and her success within Trump Tower as a living example of her father's dedication to such policy. And we, the viewer, believe her. Ivanka Trump seems to epitomize everything we want our daughters to grow up to be--an intelligent, poised, beautiful, and successful woman. A woman who has a lovely family life, and a thriving business and career. The RNC and Donald Trump's campaign needed Ivanka to be a hit at the convention, and she came through for them.

Naturally, after Ivanka (and Melania's) speeches at the RNC bloggers and online magazines alike scrambled to inform the public where their "looks" came from, and how the everyday fashionista can create a similar look of their own. Many sites praised Ivanka for wearing a dress from her own affordable and fashionable line--calling out her business and style savvy. (popsugar article here) Yet when we dig a little deeper into the Ivanka Trump line of clothing and accessories we not only learn that the products are produced overseas, like her father's clothing lines (so much for Made In America)--but that the line is actively being sued by a variety of well known, and high end designers for copying their unique and trademark designs. (also here, here, and a variety of other reputable news sources). Very few sources that gave us the source of Ivanka's chic sheath dress also gave us the relevant and related news about her clothing line.

To me, this reveals the greater goals of the RNC and Trump campaign last week--to give the public a powerful yet poised perception of the Trump family--an edited and intentionally constructed perception, what the public wants to see and hear and believe of  Donald Trump and his family. That having a well-spoken and poised daughter give us lines on morality, hard work, and greatness, speaks volumes over clear evidence of the actual business ethics in Trump Tower. That again having that same daughter, who is beautiful and successful, lovingly introduce her father, speaks louder than any line against women that Donald Trump has shouted at us in the past year or decades. It also speaks louder than his relationship with his first, second, and third wife, or what his third wife may have plagiarized at that same convention just days earlier. The Ivanka Trump that is presented to the public and the Republican voter base is what the most traditional Republican, the most conservative Republican and even the youth of the Republican party hope Donald Trump really stands for. They see Ivanka and it allows them to forget everything that led them to be concerned, and wholeheartedly give in to his promises of greatness. This is why the Trump campaign has made Ivanka into the Trump Campaign Wife, and why they continue to almost hide Melania away.

image via
By presenting us with all of the Trump children, Ivanka at the forefront, along side his claims to 'Make American Great Again' the Trump campaign gives us 'Greatness' personified, and presents it as achievable for all of us. Never is there conversation on the morals or ethics of such 'Greatness,' nor is there any mention of the extreme privilege that all of the Trump children have experienced in their lifetimes. Yet there it is, a picture of perfection and greatness, (apparently) achievable for all Americans, guaranteed by Donald Trump's campaign slogan promise. 

Monday, February 29, 2016

on motherhood and 'having it all.'

Since having Penelope in August and going back to work eight weeks later I have been feeling more than exhausted, I've feeling been literally spent. As in, there is absolutely no more time in my day or in my life for anything or anyone. Now please do not take this post as me complaining, I am exceedingly thankful for my job, my education, my family and my husband who truly defines the word "partner" in our relationship. I also know that I do not have it bad in any way whatsoever. We are solidly middle-class and have what we need, and a life full of love. Yet all of that does not take away from the truths I write here and the truths of so many other women's lived experiences. When I was in college I read "Lean In" and loved it. I was all-aboard the Sheryl Sandberg bandwagon. While I still find validity in elements of the "Lean In" argument--that young girls are often labeled as "bossy" rather than as leaders, and that women often undercut their skills and success in the workplace for fear of being labeled in an equally unfavorable manner--overall I take issue that women need to do even more to reach the successful playing field of men in their careers.  Quite frankly, I do not have the energy to Lean In any more than I already am. I am not capable of giving any more to my career at this point in my life, and if I did have any more to give, I would give it to my kid, my family, my dog.


There is so much guilt and pressure pushed upon women when they become mothers--both imagined and real. Guilt for how you feed your baby, guilt for how you diaper your baby, guilt for how and who takes care of your baby, even guilt for how you birthed your baby. There is also so much guilt and pressure pushed upon educated women with careers who chose to have children--and along with that there is this concept that you could possibly 'waste' your education, your potential, your talents by not continuing to actively push forward in your career when you do have children. And mixed in with that whole mess is a complete ignorance of financial situations and the actual need to work, or to choose off brand disposable diapers, or to try to breastfeed and pump while going back to work because formula literally costs too much.